Today’s post is a bit of an emo one, so please bear with me. The subject of love and relationships have been dominant on this blog as you would have noticed from the last few posts. The intention when I began this blog was to write about my feelings, experiences and thoughts about life, and also to connect with people who perhaps share a dfifferent view, diversity is after all the spice of life.
So today, my thoughts are turned to love and what we learn from it.
I’ve never been the relationship type. Throughout my teenage years I considered myself the poster girl for being free, fun and single to mingle. My friends on the other hand, were always dating and/ or in serious relationships. No judgement on my part but I witnessed the good and more often the bad that came with being so committed at such a fragile and young age.
Over time, I saw these fabulous, young girls compromise themselves in many ways, giving up bits of their soul and personlity to please their significant other only to end up being taken completely for granted or worse, being played and having their heart broken. “Never!!” I would boldly claim, “I will never be that girl”, I was determined not to change who I was for some douchebag who only end up hurting me. ..And then I turned 16 and met the heart breaker to end all heart breaks…
I met him through our parents who were friends and despite me not remembering him from our childhood, we apparently played together as kids. We were typical highschool sweet hearts even though we attended different schools, but you know I what I mean. I was head over arse in love with him and he was by far the hottest guy I had ever been with, although quite honestly this factor had little to do with looks and everything to do with how we felt about each other. We had our fair share of ups and downs and break ups and make ups. But we both thought that we were soul mates, meant to be. I think that when you’re young, relationships are something thats entered into with wild abandon and high hopes. Only to end up with shattered dreams and broken hearts.
It doesnt get any easier as you get older, but at least we become (somewhat) more matured and a little wiser with each experience. Having said that, there’s nothing as intense as experiencing your very first, very real heart break no matter what age you are. I remember the very last break up with Mr Heartbreaker, I had recently returned from my first overseas trip and obviously it changed me (for the better in my opinion) but he couldn’t deal with it. So less than a month after my return, he called it quits and it left me shattered. I remember balling my eyes out as my mother tried to helplessly console me. Needless to say, it was a defining moment in my life. I’ve since had few relationships and only one other as intense.
I learnt a valuable lesson from my first heart break. I learnt that I was capable of loving and being loved. I learnt that I can in fact be girlfriend material and more importantly, I have not been defeated by a failed relationship. I took lots of lessons out of that one experience and it’s since made me a better person.
Love will inevitably change you as a person, it will make you see the world in a new light. Love is not neccessarily something thats promised forever, I believe in the saying “Reasons and seasons”. People will come in to your life for a reason or a season, but they may not neccesaaily stay, sometimes they are simply meant to teach you a lesson and then move on. Love is a wonderful and sometimes very hard teacher, but if you pay attention, the lessons can be so rewarding.
SG – “..Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds..” – William Shakespeare, Sonnet 116 (an excerpt)