Tag Archives: emotions

The Art of Letting Go

Image(Image: peace&projects.com) 

Happy Friday beautiful people! 

Lately I find myself constantly thinking about the past. Past experiences, memories, people I’ve met and moments I’ve shared with my friends and family. While I reflect on these experiences, both the good and bad, I look at myself and the state of mind I was in at that stage of my life and I think about how I’ve grown since and it almost makes me shudder to think how naive I was when I was younger. 

There is something to be said about reflecting on your past and the many ways it’s made you the person you are today. I always find it’s good to reflect upon what once was, however sometimes we tend to get stuck in that time. It’s easy to dwell on a time when perhaps you perceive that life was much simpler, happier or fuller. We can get so caught up in the way those moments and experiences made us feel that in our minds, we never really move on from it. We stay there in an emotional sense and refuse to open up to the possibility of making new memories and experiences.

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(Image: happysomeone.com)

I find this often happens with love in the romantic sense. We’ve all had that one “perfect” relationship that we thought would be the one to last forever. Maybe it was with someone you thought was way out of your league or someone who adored you so much becasue they thought you were out of their league. Either way, it may have been the closest thing to happy ever after that you had. Until it all came crashing down. Funny thing about relationships, we know it will evolve in 1 of 2 ways, break up or marriage and yet when it dissolves, is there a pain worse than hearbreak?

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(Image: amandadeitz.com)

For a long time, I stayed stuck in the past of my previous relationship. Him and I had such a beautiful, deep, unique connection. I couldnt see myself with anyone else and despite not wanting to rush into marriage, we both knew this was something that could very well end up being “forever”. But reality hit and before I knew it, he ended our fairytale to seek greener pastures… As one does when you think you know better and when you think you havent experienced enough of “life” to settle down. 

I had to learn to let go of this man. Even though I loved him with every fibre of my being, even though I knew that he was the only one I could see the possibility of Forever with. I was in denial for a long time, thinking it was just a silly fight and all would be well after a few days apart. Sadly it was not so. After some time of mourning the loss and heartbreak, I picked myself up and decided to move on with my life. Fate would have it that I would meet someone in the most unexpected way and in the most unexpected circumstances. Murphy’s Law would have it that as soon as I began dating someone new, my old flame would realise he wanted me back and that he was ready to make the a commitment. Thats life I guess. When it rains, it pours. 

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(Image: pinterest.com)

This story seems a little off topic and long winded, but there is a point to all this. I struggled to move on for a long time after that relationship, every guy I met after the break up would be compared to him and it would just never match up. It was both frustrating and painful every time I dismissed an opportunity to get to know someone simply because I refused to let go of the past. 

But this new person was different somehow. After some time of hanging out and just getting to know him, I found myself opening up to him little by little as we spent time together. Having both recently come out of relationships, he understood the need to take things slow and just enjoy being in the company of another human being.  Almost a year later, I’m happier than I ‘ve ever been and I’ve learnt so much about what it means to love someone wholly without losing yourself. 

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(Image: lovethispic.com)

It’s difficult to let go of the past, especially when it was a special time in your life, when you made experiences that are unforgettable. But when you finally find the strength to let go..You open yourself up to something new..something unexpected and something that has the potential to be even more beautiful than you could imagine.

 

SG – Let Go, Let God

 

In Love and War – A journey of my feeble heart

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 (Image: meetville.com)

Today’s post is a bit of an emo one, so please bear with me. The subject of love and relationships have been dominant on this blog as you would have noticed from the last few posts. The intention when I began this blog was to write about my feelings, experiences and thoughts about life, and also to connect with people who perhaps share a dfifferent view, diversity is after all the spice of life.

So today, my thoughts are turned to love and what we learn from it.

I’ve never been the relationship type. Throughout my teenage years I considered myself the poster girl for being free, fun and single to mingle. My friends on the other hand, were always dating and/ or in serious relationships. No judgement on my part but I witnessed the good and more often the bad that came with being so committed at such a fragile and young age.

Over time, I saw these fabulous, young girls compromise themselves in many ways, giving up bits of their soul and personlity to please their significant other only to end up being taken completely for granted or worse, being played and having their heart broken. “Never!!” I would boldly claim, “I will never be that girl”, I was determined not to change who I was for some douchebag who only end up hurting me. ..And then I turned 16 and met the heart breaker to end all heart breaks…

I met him through our parents who were friends and despite me not remembering him from our childhood, we apparently played together as kids. We were typical highschool sweet hearts even though we attended different schools, but you know I what I mean. I was head over arse in love with him and he was by far the hottest guy I had ever been with, although quite honestly this factor had little to do with looks and everything to do with how we felt about each other. We had our fair share of ups and downs and break ups and make ups. But we both thought that we were soul mates, meant to be. I think that when you’re young, relationships are something thats entered into with wild abandon and high hopes. Only to end up with shattered dreams and broken hearts.

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(Image: romanceneverdies.com)

It doesnt get any easier as you get older, but at least we become (somewhat) more matured and a little wiser with each experience. Having said that, there’s nothing as intense as experiencing your very first, very real heart break no matter what age you are. I remember the very last break up with Mr Heartbreaker, I had recently returned from my first overseas trip and obviously it changed me (for the better in my opinion) but he couldn’t deal with it. So less than a month after my return, he called it quits and it left me shattered. I remember balling my eyes out as my mother tried to helplessly console me. Needless to say, it was a defining moment in my life. I’ve since had few relationships and only one other as intense.

I learnt a valuable lesson from my first heart break. I learnt that I was capable of loving and being loved. I learnt that I can in fact be girlfriend material and more importantly, I have not been defeated by a failed relationship. I took lots of lessons out of that one experience and it’s since made me a better person.

Love will inevitably change you as a person, it will make you see the world in a new light. Love is not neccessarily something thats promised forever, I believe in the saying “Reasons and seasons”. People will come in to your life for a reason or a season, but they may not neccesaaily stay, sometimes they are simply meant to teach you a lesson and then move on. Love is a wonderful and sometimes very hard teacher, but if you pay attention, the lessons can be so rewarding.

SG – “..Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds..” – William Shakespeare, Sonnet 116 (an excerpt)