Happy Friday beautiful people!
Lately I find myself constantly thinking about the past. Past experiences, memories, people I’ve met and moments I’ve shared with my friends and family. While I reflect on these experiences, both the good and bad, I look at myself and the state of mind I was in at that stage of my life and I think about how I’ve grown since and it almost makes me shudder to think how naive I was when I was younger.
There is something to be said about reflecting on your past and the many ways it’s made you the person you are today. I always find it’s good to reflect upon what once was, however sometimes we tend to get stuck in that time. It’s easy to dwell on a time when perhaps you perceive that life was much simpler, happier or fuller. We can get so caught up in the way those moments and experiences made us feel that in our minds, we never really move on from it. We stay there in an emotional sense and refuse to open up to the possibility of making new memories and experiences.
I find this often happens with love in the romantic sense. We’ve all had that one “perfect” relationship that we thought would be the one to last forever. Maybe it was with someone you thought was way out of your league or someone who adored you so much becasue they thought you were out of their league. Either way, it may have been the closest thing to happy ever after that you had. Until it all came crashing down. Funny thing about relationships, we know it will evolve in 1 of 2 ways, break up or marriage and yet when it dissolves, is there a pain worse than hearbreak?
For a long time, I stayed stuck in the past of my previous relationship. Him and I had such a beautiful, deep, unique connection. I couldnt see myself with anyone else and despite not wanting to rush into marriage, we both knew this was something that could very well end up being “forever”. But reality hit and before I knew it, he ended our fairytale to seek greener pastures… As one does when you think you know better and when you think you havent experienced enough of “life” to settle down.
I had to learn to let go of this man. Even though I loved him with every fibre of my being, even though I knew that he was the only one I could see the possibility of Forever with. I was in denial for a long time, thinking it was just a silly fight and all would be well after a few days apart. Sadly it was not so. After some time of mourning the loss and heartbreak, I picked myself up and decided to move on with my life. Fate would have it that I would meet someone in the most unexpected way and in the most unexpected circumstances. Murphy’s Law would have it that as soon as I began dating someone new, my old flame would realise he wanted me back and that he was ready to make the a commitment. Thats life I guess. When it rains, it pours.
This story seems a little off topic and long winded, but there is a point to all this. I struggled to move on for a long time after that relationship, every guy I met after the break up would be compared to him and it would just never match up. It was both frustrating and painful every time I dismissed an opportunity to get to know someone simply because I refused to let go of the past.
But this new person was different somehow. After some time of hanging out and just getting to know him, I found myself opening up to him little by little as we spent time together. Having both recently come out of relationships, he understood the need to take things slow and just enjoy being in the company of another human being. Almost a year later, I’m happier than I ‘ve ever been and I’ve learnt so much about what it means to love someone wholly without losing yourself.
It’s difficult to let go of the past, especially when it was a special time in your life, when you made experiences that are unforgettable. But when you finally find the strength to let go..You open yourself up to something new..something unexpected and something that has the potential to be even more beautiful than you could imagine.
SG – Let Go, Let God